Good Vibes Only (Most Of The Time)

One day last week I woke up in the most cranky mood I’ve experienced in some time. Nothing could go “right” and I found myself complaining about everything from the way my hair was (mis)behaving to the direction the wind was blowing. Ridiculous, I know. But I allowed the downward spiral to continue for several hours, finding fault in every experience, until I was preparing my office for a bodywork client who was scheduled to come in that morning. I knew the vibe I was throwing off would not be good for the session, and certainly didn’t want to energetically vomit on their experience and leave them in a worse emotional state when they left.

I knew by the petty tantrums I was throwing that my inner child was not happy, and the best way she knew how to express herself was to just be angry. This realization caused me to stop what I was doing and address the child. “What do you need?” I asked her.

“Nobody is listening to me!” she grumbled.

“I’m listening now. What do you need?”

“I need to be heard!”

“Did you speak up for yourself so you can be heard?”

“No….”

So that was it. I had something to say, but in order to keep the peace and avoid hurting someone’s feelings I kept it to myself. My needs were being put on the back burner, again, for the sake of someone else. And my inner child, who had done all of this self reflective work with me, wasn’t having it.

We continued the conversation and worked it out to come up with a way to express what I needed in a soft and gentle way that the receiving party could hear without getting defensive. This solution satiated the two year old and she was able to go back to her happy self, diverting any potential outbursts when I sat down with my friend to discuss what I felt was lacking from the relationship.

Recognizing when you’re out of alignment is key to your ultimate happiness. Feeling into your pain and addressing it head on is crucial. If I had said to myself that day ‘suck it up and think positive’ I would have missed an important life lesson. If I had suppressed my emotions and focused only on the good stuff, my inner child would still be screaming to be heard and I would have begun building resentment toward my friend for something they weren’t even aware of.

I do my best to promote a “good vibes only” attitude, but that has to include recognizing and addressing when things aren’t so good. The more we get into the habit of this practice, the easier it will become for us to subscribe to the idea that feelings don't show up to be suppressed. After all, if we don’t acknowledge the darkness how can we fully appreciate the light?